Public Transportation

In previous entries I have attempted to convey the chaos, the struggles, and at times the seemingly insurmountable task of public transportation. Last week I rode the bus with my friend Hayley and we were talking about the arduous process involved in public transportation which inspired me dedicate an entire entry on the subject.

America: Land of the Free, Home of the concept of Personal Space and modern conveniences like toilets. At home the prospect of a 5-hour bus journey would usually be met with a groan at the inconvenience. You go to the bus station, sit on the bus, get off. In Uganda a 5-hour bus journey begins the day before.

A general lack of toilets anywhere mandates a limited liquid consumption on the day of travel. In 85-degree heat on a stuffy and overcrowded bus, you must be mindful of dehydration, which is why you begin to pre-hydrate the day before the journey. Two litres per day is normal, so the day before a trip it is best to drink at least 3 1/2 - and be sure to pee in the morning!

When you're with your friends drinking is always a popular activity, but be careful not to drink too much the night before - two beers should do it. Being hung-over on a bus trip is one of the most miserable experiences! And be mindful of when you go to sleep the night before, a trip on public transport requires you to be fully rested because it constantly tests your wits, sanity, and motivation.

What about food? You want to be well nourished, but because the buses usually leave at early hours it isn't always possible to eat a balanced meal. Again, planning ahead helps. A package of crackers or peanuts is always good, and half-way through you can usually count on some roasted bananas or cassava: not quite a breakfast of champions, but then again, who's keeping score? (I wouldn't advise going for the roasted goat, be mindful of those pesky parasites!)

In my personal opinion, the best thing the West ever invented was the concept of the single-file line. Sometimes in Africa is surprises you when you see it, but instead of an every-day occurrence it's more like seeing a polka-doted unicorn: get your camera ready! With all the pushing and standing your ground, you need to bring your A-Game.

Finally, what do you wear? By the end of the first hour you're guaranteed to be sweating so much your back sticks to the seat. In this situation it is best to wear travel clothes, usually the ones you came to town in - they're smelly and dirty, but when you have to finally throw them away you aren't at a loss.

If all goes well, and usually it does, you reach your destination dusty, dehydrated, and short of spirits. An immediate stop at the nearest bar helps rekindle at least one of those requirements, and you can almost certainly relieve any pressure that's been building up (although, as Mamma Kuhl complained, you may be thanking the Gods for the toilet, but you should have also prayed for a toilet seat!). And then, freshly watered, newly hydrated, you throw your stuff and yourself into a bush taxi and prepare for the two-hour onward journey, for you aren't there yet!